Monday, April 27, 2015

it's a t r a p


who
when
where
how

what
do
i
have
to
do


Monday, April 6, 2015

cue the sun

a couple of times a year, i get the chance to spend extended periods of time with people a lot, a lot younger than me. when this first started, it was just one singular 'a lot'. it's now progressed to strict double 'a lot' category, and will soon move to an infinite amount of 'a lots'.

anyway. i was saying.

i get to hang out with these kids 10-ish years younger than me, and really, they're not kids anymore. i feel like i should be swaddling them and changing their nappies but they're actually fully functioning and cognizant humans with thoughts and feelings and emotions and relationships (oh, the relationships. young love, ya know?) and all that other jazz that 18 year olds experience.

okay again, i've digressed.

so yes, i get to hang out with them for something like 5 days every few months and i've come to the (sad? stark?) realization that i much, much prefer their company to you know, the real world. this doesn't include my inner circle, of course, because we often behave like we're still 16 and especially when we're together but this applies more to... everyone else.

this speaks volumes about me and my maturity, i'm sure. but i believe it speaks more about my innate escapism, something i've always suffered from, something i think i will always afflict me.

as i get older, i find this to be all the more true. i like talking to teenagers because i yearn for that life, and not so much so of youth, but of a life that had simpler issues. i yearn for the problems that plague them, for the comparatively simple things that make them tick, that make them happy.

i've really come to abhor the state of adulthood, of the people that i've met, of the people that i'm meeting, of the people that i've always known but am only now really starting to know.

as it is, i'm fully aware that i live in a suspended version of reality. but as the cracks start to show, all i want to do is run and hide under my toadstool and wait for the dark clouds to pass. as i make like truman and sail closer and closer to the wall of sky, i just want to turn around and paddle back towards safety, even if safety is ignorance.

like i said, escapism. one of my greater afflictions.

i don't know. having to deal with repercussions of other people's stupidity and incompetence is no fucking fun. having to witness persistently vile absurdity is downright shitty. having to watch someone that i hold near and dear drain themselves dry for and because of the people around them makes me ill, ill, ill.

oh adulthood. go away and don't come back.

Monday, February 16, 2015

blue ain't got no clues

feelin' the monday blues too, bubble blowing lady? 

i'm looking forward to the short work week and the celebratory new year season ahead. the new year will be amehhhzing, right? unbleatable, would you say? i refuse to be sheepish about these puns. i'm going to unabaaaahhhshedly goat all out. 

i'll stop.

()

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

i miss yestomorrow

I've always been too nostalgic. Too much reverence for the past. I wouldn't say I “live” in the past, because I definitely take in each present moment and try to enjoy every experience given to me… but my mind always wanders back. That’s natural though, right? The past is what we know, so of course that’s where our thoughts would go? 
I guess to a certain extent, I do live too much in, or for, the past. And then, I let the way I see the future be affected by that. I'm afraid of the past becoming further and further, of losing “the past”. I need to stop this. Wasn't the “past” you grip on so tightly to, at some point a “future”. Be nostalgic, for what’s ahead. 
Don’t give too much weight to what has preceded, that would imply you’re nearing or at the end. We are only just beginning.  -  I Miss Tomorrow 

 timely, so timely.

i guess for me, it's always timely. because i'm perpetually stuck in a state of (sickening, at this point) nostalgia. always pining for a time that has passed, always glorifying what was, always looking back with rose tinted glasses.

i want to want the future, and i do, but i have to let myself go.

Saturday, January 3, 2015

yoga or noga

on new year's resolutions:
v: guys, do you think i'll enjoy yoga?
everyone (like, 4 different people who weren't privy to each other's answers): ...no.
v: whhhhyyy
everyone: because it's boring. and tiring. two of the things you hate most. 
v:
..........
damn my friends and their total lack of confidence in me/ completely accurate predictions.

Friday, December 26, 2014

roastin'

{ although it's been said many times, many ways 
merry christmas to you }

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

somebody

"why are we so enamored with the idea of first becoming somebody’s rather than somebodies?"

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

eternal sunshine

dusk ft. the alleys of my favorite city

When I said I'd see Taiwan again soon, I meant soon.

To mark 1 year since our last collective trip there, we took a 2-day jaunt to Taipei in September and mmm, that city just never gets old to me. I fall in love and break and lose myself a little more every time. Honestly, I'm barely put together now, what with all the pieces of myself I've left behind over the years.

As ush, we ate:

LOOK AT THIS BEEFU~ BE MY WAIFU~ Taiwan and its abundance of delicious barbecued meat, cooked to perfection by attentive waitstaff. Clearly, heaven has a name. We tried 大腕 this time and yes, it's worth the hype. And the food coma. 

大腕, 我永遠支持你!

We didn't limit ourselves to beautifully marbled beef, no we didnt. We also partook in 2am runs to 7/11 after failed successful nights filled with pavement peering and mental scorecards. This was one of those nights that really highlighted why we're best friends, 'nuff said.

7/11 feasts are 10/10

Of course we had BREAKFAAAAAAST. Waking up to warm soy milk and a crap ton of fried food is kind of the perfect way to wake up. This picture makes me feel oddly emotional it's like a family photo.

soy in love with you(tiao)

And duh, hot pot.

when in doubt, peace and po(u)t!

Drank:

4play had some of the most delicious and potent drinks I've ever had. The best kind of lethal combination there is. This drink clearly bought out the supermodel in me -_- It was a shot of something terrible tasting (absinthe? vermouth? insert alcohol name?) followed by helium, followed by embarrassment.

可以再美一點啊~


twin some/ lose some

These grainy photos accurately portray how the rest of the night panned out for us. From delectable drinks to decidedly less enjoyable drinks in darker, louder places with drawn out conversations and blurred... everything.

oh my starry eyed surprise 

 
happy birthday, our special v. 

We made merry:

Where else but 東區? I can hear my Taiwanese friends just screeeeaming at me to get out of my comfort zones and usual hangouts but but but... OKAY. NEXT TIME, I PROMISE. *skulks away*

juice/ yogurt/ honeycomb ice cream 
could this place be any more catered to yuppies + could i love it more? 
(no.)

We shopped and walked and ate and chilled and sent our wishes into the universe and ate junk food at 4am and made inebriated calls and collapsed and had never-ending heart to hearts and sat on sidewalks and watched the world pass. You know, the ush'.

my happy shiny people  

☆ best and brightest with my best and brightest ☆

Taipei, soon just wouldn't be soon enough. I look forward to going home to you already .

Thursday, November 6, 2014

well and good

{stand up we did, and stand up we will.}

anyone who knows anything about me is aware that i'm non-confrontational to a fault. i will go out of my way to avoid conflict, often either choosing to swallow grievances or to deal with it in the most mature way possible - screaming into my baby pillow and/or grumbling under my breath when i'm out of earshot.

as i've aged, though, i've realized that ignoring problems do not make them go away. as a matter of a fact, a lot of the time, they fester. they multiply, they strengthen, they feed on perceived weakness and it is infuriating. the audacity and the gumption of some are truly stupefying and while i may not enjoy arguments nor relish quarrels, don't ever, ever, mistake that for fear or worse - a twisted sense of validation for your morally reprehensible acts.

i am not afraid of you. stand up we did, and stand up we will

Friday, October 3, 2014

friday night lights

yes, yes, yes.

me, right now.

 
(travelogues for prague, taipei and best coast will be up before the next century is upon us, i promise.)